


How does love feel right again? or Maybe you were right this time (and possibly the times before).

by eastwoodflemingfreak



Category: Rawhide (TV)
Genre: (sort of but not really), Angst, Developing Relationship, Drama & Romance, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gil deserves a slap sometimes, Gil is a kitten too, Gil needs a hug too, I love my stupid idiots with stetsons, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Rowdy is a cute kitten, Rowdy needs a hug, Slap Slap Kiss, With claws, but more like an angry one, but really Gil can be such a dick at times, but then that's never gonna happen, everybody needs a hug, not so bad in this fic though, sometimes I wish Rowdy would just move on and get over Gil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:04:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27450121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eastwoodflemingfreak/pseuds/eastwoodflemingfreak
Summary: Gil and Rowdy are having one of their fights again, but Rowdy's reaction takes Gil off guard.
Relationships: Gil Favor & Rowdy Yates, Gil Favor/Rowdy Yates
Kudos: 7





	How does love feel right again? or Maybe you were right this time (and possibly the times before).

"I ain't having none of that, Rowdy!" Gil thundered and moved slightly closer to the young ramrod he was having the argument with, subconsciously trying to intimidate him. As one could have predicted it didn't quite work. "Oh yeah? Well, that's good. Cause I ain't got no intention on continuing this discussion either!" Rowdy bellowed back and you could practically see Gil's level of annoyance reaching new heights. "I'm not a damned child anymore, Mr. Favor. You made me ramrod, now listen to me when I've got something to say!"  
Gil had been driving the men pretty hard recently, like so often, and usually none of them complained to the boss himself, and if they did their protests never lasted long. Gil would yell them down, or fire them, or, on some rare occasions, actually explain what the hell is going on. This was one of the times when he tried to yell Rowdy down. Admittedly it didn't work as well as all the times before. The trail boss blamed it on the fact that Rowdy and him had actually started something like a relationship some time ago, and quite possibly Rowdy felt reassured that Gil wouldn't actually fire him. Not that his behaviour towards his ramrod had actually changed. Whilst Rowdy really loved the gruff but quite probably good hearted man, Gil didn't really know whether he did. Since the death of his wife Gil hadn't loved anyone in a romantical way, and in all honesty forgot how that even felt, and whatever he felt for Rowdy couldn't actually be love. He was sure of that. It would just be… wrong! At least that's what he told himself, and maybe it was actually true (but actually it wasn't). But right now the two of them were having an argument about how to properly run a drive.  
"Get back to camp." Gil said in the most annoyed tone he could muster up.  
"Look, Mr. Favor, I've been through a lot with you. But you're pushin' us too hard. We ain't got no break since a week. We're tired. And we don't even know the reason for any of this."  
"Now, Rowdy, we've had this conversation before. I can't go saunterin' 'round and stop to explain something every time one of you lot doesn't understand somethin'."  
Rowdy shook his head. "I don't get it. You gotta realize men are 'bout to quit an' run out on ya!" His voice pitched up in disbelief and Gil's expression darkened.  
"Are you talkin' for yourself too?" He asked, a deep frown building on his brows.  
Rowdy hesitated for a moment, then nodded slightly. "Yes, boss, I am. But-"  
Gil's angry snap cut him off. "Then draw your pay, get your gear, and get out."  
Rowdy raised his hands defensively. "Mr. Favor, I didn't mean-"  
"GET OUT!" Gil all but yelled in his face, his deep voice startlingly sounded like a thunderstorm. Whether it was the sound or the words, or maybe the combination of it that caused Rowdy's reaction he didn't know himself.  
The ramrod drew his hand back and, before either of them really knew what was going on, slapped his boss across the face. It wasn't a particularly harsh slap, not intended to harm but delivered out of grief and anger, and possibly some fear, but it was still hard enough to cause Gil to stagger back one step and freeze in shock, his stinging cheek pounding in the rhythm of his heart. For once in his life he was left speechless. Sure, this wasn't the first slap Gil had received. Mostly it had been women though who had taken offense in his disinterested and sometimes rude behaviour towards them. But he'd also been slapped by men, mostly when he'd stood up against them, or when he'd been tied up and they tried to make him talk. He had been slapped by older people, mostly his parents but also his first trail boss, who had tried to discipline him that way. He knew Rowdy was impulsive, and the two of them had carried out one or the other fight over the years, so it shouldn't have come as such a big surprise to him, but he had never been slapped by Rowdy before. He didn't know what to make of this new experience at first, and just stared wide eyed at his ramrod while he physically felt the handprint reddening on his face. But that was not what had caught him off guard, was it? He was used to physical pain, and this wasn't really a memorable injury after all. It was just a slap, wasn't it? And then it hit him. He trusted Rowdy. He trusted Rowdy so deeply that he had taken it for granted that it was the same the other way around. He would have never expected for Rowdy to be scared enough of him - Gil, his boss, his… lover - to react with a physical defense mechanism. Gil felt how his breath hitched and a lump built in his throat. Had he really broken Rowdy's trust? Had Rowdy ever trusted him? He took a slow and considerate breath. He would just have to brush this off like he always did, didn't he? Pretend that neither of them actually had a reason to be emotional about any of this at all? After a few seconds of slow and deep breathing he had regained enough composure to slowly bring up a hand and carefully rub his cheek, trying to sooth at least some of the pain.  
"'m sorry." He heard Rowdy mumble, and realised that his ramrod looked down on the ground. "Sorry, boss, I really didn't mean ta slap you. 't just… happened."  
Gil nodded slowly and took a deep breath. What he wanted to say was: "You don't need to apologize, I deserved it. I'm a bad boss. I should have never frightened you like that. Will you please forgive me? I'd love to take back firing you. I need you around. I lov-TRUST you. Really. I trust you. Will you ever trust me again?"  
"Let's… let's head back to camp, shall we?" Was what Gil actually asked in a much quieter voice than usually, internally wanting to strangle himself for being such a twat and not apologising, and Rowdy just nodded in turn. When Gil turned to walk off, the ramrod spoke once more. "Uhm, boss, am I… still fired?" He asked worriedly, and Gil gave a slight shake of his head as a response. "I guess it's just been a long day. For all of us. Let's… forget about all this, shall we?" He forced a small smile, which turned into a real one after he saw the relief on his boyf- ramrod's face. He wondered if possibly Rowdy had been right. If he really pushed the men too hard. If he really lacked the self reflection to realise when he was overstepping borders. Maybe he had needed a slap to the face to realise how important other people really were. Maybe he didn't want to forget this evening after all.  
"Oh, and, Rowdy?"  
The ramrod turned back around to look at him once more. "Yeah?" He asked, and Gil smiled slightly.  
"If- When I'm being a self indulgent arse the next time, just slap me again, 'lright?"  
Rowdy looked at him in obvious confusion and Gil chuckled walking closer to him and draped an arm around his shoulders, drawing him into a light hug. "Sometimes I wonder what I'd be without you." He mumbled into the crook of the ramrod's neck and Rowdy grinned slightly. "I have absolutely no idea what has brought this question on, but I don't actually want to find out what you'd be without me." He answered cheekily and Gil turned his head to look in his eyes, smiling slightly. "Me neither." He murmured before drawing Rowdy in for a soft kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this little fic. It's a bit short, but I haven't tried to write these cowboys in a really long time (and honestly, what I wrote wasn't really good at all) (not that this is much better), and I thought a short fiction would be a good starter to get back into the fandom.  
> I love these dorks so much!  
> And thanks to everyone who actually read this. <3


End file.
